I think the majority of people deal with some type of conflict every day in their lives. We all know the people who avoid it, we know the people who create it, and we know the people who try to resolve it.
I have had a few conflicts come to light over the last few weeks and have handled all of them differently. Each one of these situations was very different, with different personalities, and different stakes on the line. Although I thought carefully about each of them, I still question whether I am handling/handled them correctly.
Is there a right way to handle conflict? Can you guarantee the same result EVERY time you run into a disagreement with someone if you always use the same remedy? You may handle every conflict the same but I am pretty sure the outcomes aren’t always the same, or predictable. There are too many variables in any given situation.
It amazes me how difficult conflict can be and how much stress it adds to our lives. One side of the argument may stay up at night tossing and turning and the other brushes it off within 5 minutes. Typically, we think the party that thinks the other is not as concerned, doesn’t value their feelings or is just plain ignorant. But is that really true?
There could be a multitude of factors for the person that moves on quicker. Past experience, busy schedule, other stress in their life. Who even knows. You probably don’t because you haven’t… well, just asked.
Like every other thing in my life, I am trying to find the harmony. When do I address the situation and when do I let it go?
It depends on the situation. But one thing is for certain, I try my very best to approach the other party with open arms and open ears. Ready and eager to listen to their side before I jump to conclusions.
Are you doing the same? Could there be someone in your life you brushed off too quickly? Is there someone in your life that took it too far and you need to confront?
It amazes me how difficult conflict can be and how much stress it adds to our lives.
Remember to try to leave your BIG emotions at the door. Emotion fuels a lot of how we handle any situation but don’t let it control the situation. Always acknowledge other’s feelings, right or wrong, it is HOW THEY FEEL! Majority of the time, you are able to negotiate and come to a quicker agreement and move on.
Remember conflict is not a negative thing. It creates bonds, develops bigger ideas and can heal. It’s a form of teamwork.
My encouragement is for you to address the conflict in your life this Monday. Evaluate and act. Don’t dismiss those who have tried to approach you. You may need time, but you don’t have forever. You may never get the chance to open that door again.